Eliminate all things that waste your energy
What are the strengths against our emotional intelligence? The answer is everything that wastes energy. Many people’s nervous systems have thick calluses like their father’s hands. We have become accustomed to not being aware of the consumption of energy. Energy is subtle, but it is also possible to experience noticeable changes, such as an adrenaline rush when you hear good news and exhaustion when you hear bad news.
We usually don’t pay attention to the subtle consumption of energy, such as getting along with a negative person, looking around for a piece of paper on the table, and so on. What are some things in your life that are slowly draining energy? There’s a little rug piled up in the corner of my house, and every time I see it, I think someone might trip over it. It wasn’t such a big deal, but it distracted me.
At this time, there are two options: one is to face up to this problem, establish psychological boundaries and continue to be cautious with them; the other is to reduce contact with such people. Indeed, we need to get rid of things that are slowly wasting our energy and free ourselves to focus on improving our emotional intelligence.
You can choose to reduce resistance or increase propulsion. Try our approach:
- Frequently list things that drain your energy.
- Systematically analyze the list and divide it into two parts: A. What can make a difference. B. Unchangeable.
- Solve the problems in the A list one by one. For me, for example, hang the car keys on a fixed hook so you don’t have to look everywhere.
- Look at the questions in the B list again. Are you sure? Is there any possibility to move some of them to A list to solve?
- Abandon the problem in the B list.
- Find a vivid role model in your life.
We’ve all been through the age of role models, who are noble and alienating to us. So our enthusiasm for learning from role models gradually died out in the distance from role models, because we knew that we might not become heroes in our lifetime. Yes, you can’t be a big hero, but you can be a happy everyday person, like your friend Denning, who is energetic, young, generous, smart, and funny. She runs a gynecology clinic, works as a corporate consultant, writes a regular column for a city, and has a handsome husband and lovely daughter. Do you have such a wonderful person around you? Make him your role model!
You can think: I can do whatever she can, but our styles are very different, and I can’t do what she does in her way. But I will imitate some of the things she does and do it my way. From her, you can always see the potential of yourself that you never realized.
Find your role model among the people around you! They are smarter, better educated, more advanced, and more resilient than you. You’ll naturally improve your emotional intelligence as you go after them.
Learn from difficult people
We are surrounded by a lot of disgruntled, domineering, and posturing people, and how we wish these people would disappear from our lives, because they can make people angry and hopeless, even mad. These difficult people are our helpers to improve our emotional intelligence. You can learn silence from the talkative, patience from the grumpy, kindness from the wicked, and you don’t have to be grateful for these teachers.
Also, what you define as “difficult people” may turn out to be just people who are different from you, and you are also difficult people for so-called difficult people. The most effective way to deal with difficult people is to be flexible. That is to say, discover their way, and be as flexible as possible to adopt the same way in the process of dealing with them. If the person prefers small talk before getting down to business, your response should be to relax and talk about family life. On the other hand, if the person is straight to the point, you should also cut down on the gossip and get to the point. That way, you’ll be more productive when dealing with difficult people, and you’ll find that those people aren’t that difficult. The second point of dealing with difficult people is to treat them as gifts.
Try a completely different approach
Try a completely different approach every now and then, and you’ll broaden your horizons and improve your emotional intelligence. Are you an outgoing person or an introvert who just likes being alone or with a few close friends? Do you like to plan each day in advance to know what to do, or do you have no plan? Everyone has their own preferences, and if they can choose, everyone will choose their preferred way. However, suddenly routine, trying diametrically opposed actions will help us grow even more.
If you’ve always been keen to be the centerpiece of your party, change it up this time and try to make the otherwise unremarkable people in the limelight. If you’re always passively waiting for someone to strike up a conversation with you, take the initiative to come up and say hello. When breaking out of the norm, most high EQ vs low EQ scientists have found that people with damage to the part of the brain that controls emotions (the limbic system) can reason and think clearly and logically, but make very low-level decisions.
Scientists therefore concluded that when the thinking part of the brain is separated from the emotional part, the brain does not work properly. When humans make normal actions, they use two parts of the brain, the emotional part and the logical part. An emotionally intelligent person uses a combination of parts of the brain and, in most cases, parts of the cerebral cortex. Respect the human rights and human dignity of all people. Don’t impose your values on others. Have a clear understanding of yourself and be able to handle pressure. Be confident without being complacent. Good interpersonal relationships. Good at dealing with all aspects of life.