We can’t predetermine IQ, but we can improve EQ. An outstanding person may not have high IQ, but must have high EQ. There are actually simple and easy ways to improve emotional intelligence, all you need is persistence.
Learning to draw appropriate mental boundaries is good for everyone.
You may think it’s a good thing to have unclear boundaries with others, so that everyone can get along with each other as they please without having to haggle with each other. This sounds plausible, but its downside is that people often hurt your feelings without you knowing it. In fact, it is not difficult to observe the surroundings carefully, and it is not difficult to find that people with poor boundary ability are prone to morbid phobia. If we are the one who violates other people’s psychological boundaries, we will feel like a big cold-blooded fool when we find out the truth. At the same time, we also feel hurt, because we are both guilty of our own fault and indignant that a third party is involved in criticizing us. Clear boundaries are good for everyone.
You have to understand what others can and cannot do to you. When someone violates your mental boundaries, tell them so that they can be corrected. If you always fail to draw the mental boundaries, then you need to improve your cognitive level.
Find a method that suits you and make rational actions.
Find a way that works for you to calm yourself down when you feel like you’re losing your mind, so that the blood stays in your brain and you act wisely. Americans once said jokingly: When encountering things, rational children let blood enter their brains, and they can think intelligently; savage children let blood enter their limbs, their brains are empty, and they are crazy and impulsive.
Yes, when the blood fills the brain, you are clear-headed and behave properly, and conversely, when the blood is flowing to your limbs and your tongue, you will do stupid things, be impulsive, and speak indiscriminately. In fact, scientific experiments have shown that when we become overly stressed under stress, blood does leave the cerebral cortex and we behave erratically. At this time, the nature of animals in the brain takes the lead, making us behave like the most primitive animals. Be aware that in a civilized society, acting like a primitive animal can cause big trouble.
There are many strategies for managing emotional outbursts, one of which is to pay attention to your heart rate, which is an accurate measure of your emotions. When your heart beats faster than 100 beats per minute, it’s crucial to get your emotions in order. At this rate, the body secretes much more adrenaline than usual. We’ll lose our minds and turn into aggressive crickets.
When the blood starts rushing to your extremities again, you can take a deep breath until you calm down. Inhale slowly and deeply, filling your lungs with air. Make sure you’re breathing correctly by placing one hand on your belly. Alternatively, hydrotherapy can be used. Take a hot tub, and your anger and anxiety may disappear with the lather.
When you feel like complaining, stop for a moment and ask yourself, “Do I want to continue to live with this seemingly unchangeable situation, or do I want to change it?” We call this incessant complaining nagging. Complaining is exhausting and fruitless, useless to the problem, and rarely makes us feel any better. Almost all of us find that we feel better when we complain to a sympathetic third party and he gets angry along with it.
Someone said to you, “Poor baby.” It’s a great comfort to you, your stress seems to have eased, and you’re back on your feet again, even though nothing has changed. But if you don’t complain, you will feel enormous psychological pressure. Stress is sometimes not a bad thing, yes it can make you feel uncomfortable, but it is also a force for change. Once the stress is relieved, it is easier to maintain the status quo. However, if stress is not lost in complaining, it can build up to a point where it forces you to take action to change the status quo.
So, when you’re ready to complain to a friend who sympathizes with you, ask yourself: Do I want to reduce the stress and keep the status quo, or do I want to keep the stress going and make me change all this? If it’s the former, take the stress away by complaining. When everyone complains, it makes us feel better for a while. But if things do need to change, make up your mind to take action!